Simpsons – An Endless Stream of Classic Quotes
Here’s a few:
Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star.
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Homer: Bart, with ten thousand dollars we’d be millionaires. We could buy all kinds of useful things like… love!
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Lionel Hutz: Well, he’s kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace “accidentally” with “repeatedly,” and replace “dog” with “son.”
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Homer: Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals … except the weasel.
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Homer: Are you saying you’re never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.
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Homer: [drunk] Look, the thing about my family is there’s five of us. Marge, Bart, Girl Bart, the one who doesn’t talk, and the fat guy. How I loathe him.
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And my personal favourite:
Homer (reading of computer screen): To start press any key.
Homer: Where’s the “any” key? I see Esc, Catarl, and Pig Up. There doesn’t seem to be any “any” key. Wo! All this computer hacking is making me thirsty. I think I’ll order a Tab.
(Homer hits TAB key).
