I Stared Evil in the Eye – And I…
It was Friday the 14th of November. It was a dark, chilly evening in Stockholm and me and a couple of colleagues were on the way to a pub after work. We were walking down Drottninggatan when one of my colleagues said she wanted to visit a store on the way, it was just up ahead.
A few hundred meters later she drifted to the right side of the street towards the store. We all went in after her. She talked to the cashier for a minute or two and she was all done a paid for and held a small plastic bag in her hand. We all waved good bye to the cashier as we started to leave. It was then that evil jumped me, almost from behind.
Right there on the shelf I saw what my colleague had just bought. Right there in front of me, whispering “buy me, buy me” to me. An internal dispute started in my head. I knew I shouldn’t do it but somewhere deep inside something was beginning to take over and finally I couldn’t resist. I took it and I stepped up to the cashier. A flash of my card, 4 digits of pin, a plastic bag and a receipt later I walked out of the store knowing that I had done something very, very bad.
The next morning I woke up. My first thought was of the small plastic bag that was hanging on the coat rack by the front door. I was unsure whether or not to look into it. I decided to make myself some breakfast before doing so. I was just about to prepare my first meal of the day when I remembered that I had no food. I realized that I had to go down to the mall and stop by the grocery store and pick up some of life’s necessities if I wanted to have breakfast at home.
Instead of acting upon the inital thought to buy groceries I picked up the phone and a few minutes later I had a breakfast date with a friend. 30 minutes to go before I had to leave. Shower, of course. It made sense to grab a quick one, after all I just got out of bed. 10 minutes in the shower left me with some time to think. The plastic bag was still calling for me open it but I knew that I really shouldn’t do it. I knew that if I did my life wouldn’t be the same.
The dispute from last night started all over again.
I got out of the shower, wiped down, put on some fresh clothes and sat down in front of the TV, still indecisive. I flicked through the channels but didn’t find anything of interest to kill of the final 5 minutes that was left before I had to go to be on time. I turned the TV off and got up. I looked at the plastic bag as I reached for my jacket and shoes. The receipt was still in there as if I had wanted to give myself one last out before it was too late. I took it as a sign that I had acted in such way the night before and reached for the bag and put it in my pocket.
I stepped out of the apartment, down the three stairs and out in the cold. It didn’t take long to get to the subway station where I was to meet up with my friend. He was a few minutes late but I didn’t mind the wait, it only gave me time to really convince myself that I was doing the right thing.
As he came and we’d said our hellos I told him I wasn’t quite ready to eat just yet, I had one quick errand to run first. That wasn’t a problem as long as I made it fast he said, he was just as hungry as I was after a long night with no food. We walked into the mall and past numerous stores without giving any of them a second look. When we came to the far end of the mall we stepped in to the store where I knew I had to go.
I walked straight up to the cashier and told him that I wanted to return the contents of the bag, I had only bought it last night and not opened the package. The cashier verified my story by looking at the package and the receipt and he accepted it as the truth and refunded me without hesitation.
Once again I stepped out of the store, only this time I didn’t have a small plastic bag in my hand and I felt very good about it.
I had stared evil in the eye – and I won!
