Windows Vista Voice Recognition FTW!
Easy as Pie, huh?
Archive for 2008/08
Craig’s List
I’m not exactly sure what this is really but some of the posts are very amusing.
If you’re bored or whatever give a go 
Adde: You’ll love this one 
Don’t Do It!!!
I’m blogging this for safe keeping if the source page is ever brought down.
Don’t Shave That Hair!!!
I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to you, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble shitting.No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique. It seems my ass-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my asscheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butthair dwelling. Eventually I would have to do two things: either reach down with some paper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its Can’t-Be-Flushed threshold.
I was contemplating this problem, when I had what seemed at the time to be a bright idea. “Hey! This is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don’t I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans will flow out like beer from a keg!” I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements. “How many Indians could there be?” said by General Custer. “Looks like a good day for a drive!” by JFK. “There! America On-Line now has complete Usenet access!” by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea.
I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my ass of hair. Occassionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn baby. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My ass was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over.
Little did I know.
I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two asscheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry.
Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic shit- molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky shit/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. God-DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm.
Unfortunately again, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering shit/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my ass cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own shit blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: “It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks.”
Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my ass at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for ass-hair – ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my asscheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil.
As if that wasn’t enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your ass having the texture of a brillo pad. Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn’t just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony.
Friends, DON’T SHAVE YOUR ASS-HAIR!
Playing With Typography
I’m playing a bit with the typography on the site and would very much appreciate feedback.
What I’m aiming for is something that doesn’t look so damn boring like the rest of the web but it should still be readable and look nice.
I’m not too sure about the current setup but too tired to focus
I just noticed that you may need to refresh your browser cache to see the changes. Just hit Shift+F5 and it’ll do the trick.
This is Hilarious
Got this from ebaums world. Source
Downloading Files with Javascript
I recently built a function which was supposed to generate a file and download it from a website.
The idea was that you had a list of items, you selected a number of them and hit post.
The selected items was posted via AJAX to a PHP script and that PHP script responded with a file that you would be able to download directly (ie. instead of actually showing a web page, the browsers download window should open. This didn’t work.
At first I couldn’t understand what was wrong and assumed that my PHP script somehow messed the file up but in the end it turned out to be AJAX. The browser received the contents of the file and the headings were correct and everything looked good but it still didn’t work.
I changed the call to standard JavaScript and it worked like a charm.
window.location = 'http://www.domain.com/path/to/download-script.php';
So the conclusion is: Don’t use AJAX when you want to initiate a file download in the browser, use window.location instead.
Hooligans, Will They Ever Learn?
It’s happened again. Derby in Stockholm and as usual there’s trouble on the stands.
This time it was Hammarbys turn to behave like asses, so much for their reputation of being the least troublesome fans in Stockholm.
It was this Monday, when the ref blew the whistle and pointed at the penalty spot. In favor for AIK. That’s when it went out of hand. After 82 minutes of football. Fireworks were fired from Hammarbys stand, right behind AIKs keeper, and landed right beside him. From what I understand it was pure luck that he didn’t got hit by it and that he noticed it so he could avoid it when it exploded. In all the commotion the no-gooders were attacked by other supporters that disapproved of their conduct.
You can read about this in pretty much any Swedish magazine covering football, and probably some foreign ones too so enough about that. Whats more interesting is the interview I read today with Hammarbys team manager (what ever he does) Peter Thunell.
First of all he says that the game should be aborted as soon as something like this happens. I couldn’t agree more. Time and time again we see this happen and we often see that the team who’s fans caused the interruption benefits from it. The signal it sends to restart a game after these events is that crime pays and it shouldn’t.
Secondly he has realized something more of us must realize: it’s come to a point where the police, clubs, supporter clubs, security companies etc are powerless. There’s nothing that can be done other than playing with empty stands. What needs to happen is that the low lives need to understand that they are not welcome, that their actions will only hurt themselves and others.
I said that the police can’t do anything. You can always argue that increased penalties to both the criminals and the clubs might make people think twice before doing something stupid and I think that’s one step in the right direction but it’s not a solution. It won’t be enough, if it was we wouldn’t have much crime at all.
Instead we have to react and by we I mean other supporters. Peter Thunell claims that if the game is aborted and the team who’s fans that cause it automatically loose the game (which is the effect of an aborted game) the fans will self-sanitize this problem by simply beating the person/persons that misbehave up, thus making sure that they’ll learn their lesson and not do it again. He doesn’t say it’s a necessarily good way to solve the problem but it seems to be the only one that has even a remote chance of working. I actually tend to agree even though I consider people beating up idiots are idiots themselves.
The reality is that there’s a problem without a solution so why not try the law of the jungle on this one?
Photos from Crete Uploaded
I’ve uploaded a bunch of photos from crete.
You’ll find several new albums under the Greece category at photo.nordenfelt.com.
Have You Ever Thought of Joining the SAS?
I have to admit that the thought has crossed my mind. I have some kind of fascination for the SAS (Special Air Service) that I can’t really explain. Would I make it? I don’t know. Physically I’d need to get some exersice but the real question is if I’d handle the mental agony, I guess I’ll never really know.
Why am I suddenly blogging about the SAS? The reason is very simple really.
I’ve read a couple of books by author Andy McNab recently. He’s a former SAS soldier and has not only written a couple of books accounting for real life missions but also several fictional books about former SAS soldier Nick Stone.
Anyway, I started off by reading Bravo Two Zero. This book is based on an actual mission in Iraq which went to the crapper and several of the eight-man squad were captured or killed. It’s a very intresting read and I’d recommend anyone to do it regardless of what your facination of war and the likes might be.
Once I’d finished Bravo Two Zero I wanted more so I started reading some of his fictional books. I had one available, Firewall, and I read it it just two days. Firewall is one of ten books about Nick Stone who used to be an SAS soldier but now he’s a ‘K’, a soldier whom still works for the British government but only get the kind of shady missions that no one will ever admit is acctually taking place. And would he fuck up, well, then noone knows who he is and no one will be there to help him. When I finished Firewall I got on to reading Crossfire and now I’m completely hooked.
Andy McNab has written two more real life accounts and 8 more books about Nick Stone and I’m going to read them all.
Blogging on My New Laptop
I’m writing this blog post on my brand new Dell XPS M1330.
10 Most Recent Twits
